tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64640698624969719592024-03-14T00:59:11.239-07:00Psalm 10Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.comBlogger85125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-10662506277121904482012-08-13T12:29:00.000-07:002012-08-13T01:25:19.158-07:00Saying Yes<br />
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It’s been quite a summer. A summer in which we finally found
our house and got all the paperwork together for NGO status and met a bunch of
super cool people and grew as a program. A summer with a lot of hard and a lot
of anger and a lot of fear. These last three months have not been an easy road
to walk but they were necessary for me to really and truly be able to say yes
to this life. To say yes with certainty and with a little less naivety then
before. </div>
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I’m finally ready to say yes. </div>
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I’m saying yes to hard. And maybe I have no idea what I’m
getting myself into. I knew I was saying yes to bug bites and the power going
off and weird illnesses and babies dying and people in desperate situations.
But I didn’t know I was saying yes to people not liking me and drama I thought
I left behind in middle school and slander and malice and pride and wondering
every day whether I am responding in a godly way or joining the mess. Wondering
where the line is between gossip and speaking truth and how I know when I’ve
crossed it. </div>
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And I’m left terrified because I honestly don’t know if I
have it in me. Because the more time I spend here the more I realize how much I
don’t know. </div>
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I’m saying yes to uncertainty. I’m saying yes to I don’t
know. I’m saying yes to saying goodbye to my family and my friends and my
comfortable life. I’m saying yes to unplanned futures and service and feeling
unqualified every single day. Maybe I’m saying yes to failure…. And hard that
is too hard. </div>
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But I’m saying yes. To a wild journey with God because I
want to see Him work miracles and I want to see families stay with their
children. </div>
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So here’s to a wild year. A year where I believe we will
raise $115,000 and finish school and pack our things and say our goodbyes and
move to Uganda. </div>
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A crazy filled year. </div>
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Bring it on. </div>
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Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-16381904261373966222012-08-07T05:07:00.002-07:002012-08-07T05:07:36.372-07:00Miracles<br />
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When I first landed in this country I believed in miracles.
I had read enough books and blog posts and sat through enough inspirational
church services with the missionary from Africa telling their incredible
stories. I thought miracles happened every day here.</div>
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But the thing with books and blog posts and sermons is that
nobody likes to hear about the time the baby actually died or the father who is
still an alcoholic or the mother who never got saved. We only share the success
stories.</div>
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Last fall three children who I had known and worked with
died within a six week period. It got to the point where I was afraid to even
check facebook each morning because I was terrified another one was gone. I
prayed and prayed and still children died. </div>
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When <a href="http://arisehome.blogspot.com/2011/09/this-is-life-he-has-called-us-to.html">Ajuma</a> died I said to someone that I just wanted a
miracle… one of the miracles I was always reading about and hearing about. Why
was it that when they prayed kids lived? And when I did they all still died. </div>
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And they reminded me what exactly a miracle is. It’s
uncommon. It doesn’t happen every day. This is Africa. The healthcare is awful,
these kids were incredibly sick, all the odds were against them. We always pray
for a miracle but if we got one each time then they would cease to be miracles.
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If miracles stopped being miracles would God get the same
amount of glory? These children were meant to be with Jesus and we can rest in
the assurance that it is all within His will and that they are with their savior.
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So a few weeks ago I met a baby in the village who was
malnourished and sick. I took her and her grandmother back to Jinja with me and
had her checked out at the local hospital. They prescribed medications and
special high calorie food. I was not confident that her grandmother would be
able to keep up with the medication and diet so I tried to get her to stay in
Jinja for a week or two. She had another grandbaby at home under her care so
she said no and went home with the medications and food.</div>
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A month later I went back to visit her with nothing but
negative thoughts filling my head. I was more than ready to find a sick malnourished
baby and a grandmother looking for an easy fix I couldn’t provide. I was
terrified that I was going to have to just let this case go. I was leaving in
three weeks and without the grandmother’s willingness to come to Jinja I didn’t
know what else to do. </div>
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I was prepared for the worst as we walked up to her home but
instead I found a miracle. I found a beautiful little girl with meat on her
bones and a smile on her face. Her grandmother proudly showed us how she could
now stand all by herself and thanked us enthusiastically for our help. </div>
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The thing was though that it wasn’t us. This baby girl in
front of me was one of those miracles I had been praying and asking for. This
was the answer to my plea to God to show me that He was indeed working here and
that he did see these children. </div>
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“Miracles are retelling in small letters of the very same
story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of
us to see”</div>
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-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span>C.S. Lewis </div>
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She had God’s fingerprints all over her. </div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-5592409635743284052012-07-17T14:02:00.000-07:002012-07-17T14:02:48.198-07:00What I've Been up to Lately<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So we went to a home visit in the village one day and came home with kittens. We were in love with them for about 10 minutes... and then we hated them. They lasted about two weeks until we found another home for them. Lesson learned... impulse buying should not include animals. </div>
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I turned 21... in a total G- rated fashion... promise...</div>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">We've been going rouge lately... actually I don't really know what that word means... but we've been sneaky...or maybe we haven't... can't really tell you, can I?</span>
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We had our first livestock purchasing experience. So much fun! We bought a beautiful cow for one of the moms in our sponsorship program whose husband recently left her with 11 children to support. Talk about super woman!</div>
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So one day I was casually waking up in the living room when I was informed that a snake was attempting to enter our home. When my screams for our guard failed to bring someone Kelsey came to our rescue. While I screamed on top of the table Kelsey SAWED the head off of a black mamba. I am surrounded by super women. </div>
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I've been spending LOTS of time in hospitals lately... not really my favorite but one of the many ways God decides to work through my weaknesses. Slowly getting over my deep fear of needles and blood. Slowly.</div>
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We went to the most beautiful place on earth. Seriously. Spent a weekend at Sipi Falls lodge where we went on a five hour hike which included views like this. Showered under a waterfall, made our own coffee, soaked it all up. Already want to go back so bad. </div>
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In other news...<br />
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- We are [cross your fingers] signing a contract for our house next week!<br />
- We have been having a rough time with a few hard things on our plate... would love your prayers.<br />
- Countdown begins... I tell myself it's only a month until I see my gorgeous siblings NOT a month until I have to leave :(<br />
<br />Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-29390228493497061782012-06-30T01:22:00.002-07:002012-06-30T01:22:37.042-07:00Perfect in Weakness<br />
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I used to hold babies all day and stay up with sick children
and feel useful and needed. Now I’m filling out paperwork and running errands
and sitting in meetings repeating the same thing over and over again. I used to
want to live in this country more than anything in the world but now that the
big move is a mere 12 months away I’m not sure how I feel.</div>
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I kind of love my comfortable life in America. I kind of
love the kids I get to babysit. And I love my family with a fierceness I didn’t
know until I faced leaving them for good. And I like my jobs. And I like my
friends. And I think I could be happy in the United States. </div>
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And some days I let myself daydream what my life could be
like if I just stayed there. Seeing my siblings grow up- getting to attend soccer
games and school graduations and birthday parties. And babysitting awesome kids
and working as a teacher in a classroom that I’m comfortable with- free of all
the cultural barriers I know I’m going to have to face here. And I could apply
to be a temporary foster parent and maybe get my Masters degree. I could do
anything I wanted and the future seems endless. </div>
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But instead i’m on this path that could most certainly end
in massive failure. I have a budget that is screaming for $115,000 to be
raised. I’m involved in a program model that has never been attempted before…
and before that used to be exciting… and now all I think about is the fact that
that means we may be heading straight for disaster. </div>
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And maybe I don’t want to be on a path that might be heading
for disaster… maybe I don’t want to trust God with just about every aspect of
my life… maybe all those Christian things I’ve repeated before in perfect
cliché fashion aren’t so easy when you realize you actually have to live them. </div>
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I’ve said before that the hard is good… because the hard
brings Christ’s beauty and personal growth and closeness to God. But even
though God has been faithful time and time again to prove that, the truth is
that my humanity still seems to doubt it.</div>
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Because I am blessed… or maybe not?... with a life in
America that offers comfort and security. And maybe giving that up is not as
easy as I thought.</div>
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$115,000. I cannot even wrap my head around that kind of
money. Cannot even begin to form a plan within the realm of possibility that
ends with us having that money by next June. For the first time I have to face
the terrifying truth that Abide will only happen if God performs a miracle… and
I thought I believed in miracles… but when it holds my future in its hands I
realize that I doubt. </div>
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The world is filling my head, demanding ownership over ever
empty space- you are way too young, you thought enough people would care?, you’re
not Ugandan, you don’t know what you’re doing- But when I open myself up to God
he pushes all those things aside and I can see a small seed of hope growing in
unqualified soil. </div>
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My faith might be smaller than a mustard seed… But His grace
is made perfect in weakness. </div>
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And maybe, just maybe, he will move mountains to prove it. </div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-24841521231969232002012-06-20T01:10:00.000-07:002012-06-20T01:10:15.808-07:00What I've Been Up To<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2GzXhfWy6E9OK_nsoE5-uYjHuEb9P4fUeLdam8sRDwAeG5PRzCH3ghQ1NIjJ8KpyQIPG0pnRY4pkL8sMabsB69bjJEeD4q2oVakjhVp5qv9Oxfxdz98fy5ioeJf6M3vovPuXw5SpaqWSZ/s1600/DSC_0005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2GzXhfWy6E9OK_nsoE5-uYjHuEb9P4fUeLdam8sRDwAeG5PRzCH3ghQ1NIjJ8KpyQIPG0pnRY4pkL8sMabsB69bjJEeD4q2oVakjhVp5qv9Oxfxdz98fy5ioeJf6M3vovPuXw5SpaqWSZ/s320/DSC_0005.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">House hunters Uganda version. We (maybe) found a house for Abide! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7Y_1ZPutcJ3WMYbRd8ZxtraNKWVx4si9rwBEpplfKlQqNJ_hYBzK5fBdSLLmzarUdfTocQPWuZVrJXCcelhplqVfsDrE5Bc4qbg0GzzKw_vE16ay5D2MTILloHQHqgsTunAALNaFvMzCj/s1600/DSC_0247.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7Y_1ZPutcJ3WMYbRd8ZxtraNKWVx4si9rwBEpplfKlQqNJ_hYBzK5fBdSLLmzarUdfTocQPWuZVrJXCcelhplqVfsDrE5Bc4qbg0GzzKw_vE16ay5D2MTILloHQHqgsTunAALNaFvMzCj/s320/DSC_0247.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once upon a time we lived in a dull and tasteless world. Then we discovered Pinterest. Pad thai in our Ugandan kitchen????</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuA8tEtue19oLk5YWm-I8NOyXINspXV2eJygbde2QcyFXPdXgXrKGfvjK3YxgLRtRsZtzFxD8aSH5IFsf_aOgwxlhngdDtLcAKTXSLYbFR12i7uJ_nyqYtkrTn9fFe6R3CJ_d5tXVmxOL0/s1600/Budget.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuA8tEtue19oLk5YWm-I8NOyXINspXV2eJygbde2QcyFXPdXgXrKGfvjK3YxgLRtRsZtzFxD8aSH5IFsf_aOgwxlhngdDtLcAKTXSLYbFR12i7uJ_nyqYtkrTn9fFe6R3CJ_d5tXVmxOL0/s320/Budget.bmp" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Paper work is so much fun (not)! Did our budget yesterday.... yikes! Definitely going to be a real lesson in trusting God for all that money. (you can donate to Abide <a href="http://www.abidefamilycenter.org/donate0.aspx?count=true">here</a>)</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYkzsOQoCv_GVvJMLUFDDKiRQdLdGcc9ip3Z-R3hMVwJQSJWX1yvPKLzCIrrwPEUBixr51nBRi2KUzJDWE6RUyzMPY76qO-RWEtRnjWrtQ5lVyOk8FObzBLKscDXT_YnXVE5WyhdsGV5Qs/s1600/DSC_0208.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYkzsOQoCv_GVvJMLUFDDKiRQdLdGcc9ip3Z-R3hMVwJQSJWX1yvPKLzCIrrwPEUBixr51nBRi2KUzJDWE6RUyzMPY76qO-RWEtRnjWrtQ5lVyOk8FObzBLKscDXT_YnXVE5WyhdsGV5Qs/s320/DSC_0208.JPG" width="214" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Home visits to this precious girl are always a joy. Just look at that smile!!!! Someone sure is happy to be HOME!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiEg4KJta7o4ApIVTCiw3zWGlzU8lTcoN39UtKRXZRZZksibzPx3FDFsgz9h8igKZvsMNZ_cug9ww40TwFmOb41V1qlJi6HD9EpTCLUWwJGe2_j-Q1KUtiFwIHOSRitBTSlSZTT2PGCCzJ/s1600/DSC_0035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiEg4KJta7o4ApIVTCiw3zWGlzU8lTcoN39UtKRXZRZZksibzPx3FDFsgz9h8igKZvsMNZ_cug9ww40TwFmOb41V1qlJi6HD9EpTCLUWwJGe2_j-Q1KUtiFwIHOSRitBTSlSZTT2PGCCzJ/s320/DSC_0035.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Love seeing re-settled kids that refuse to let go of their grandpa's legs when we try to greet them!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meetings. Lots of Meetings. And then some more meetings. Getting to know some awesome people doing incredible work though!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdHg9SPzLGtq8HbrzwbIi51BFwBjMUUPfdwOz_k_R6V-_QAP1GARUFP9dSCMR0KjldqbY6IN8EOkbt76NaGsmO0iBufx-ighKKkfq6bNaJx6I9Rv69jZ6cTtgnvqLVo00a3cfTTDeH0Y_w/s1600/DSC_0056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdHg9SPzLGtq8HbrzwbIi51BFwBjMUUPfdwOz_k_R6V-_QAP1GARUFP9dSCMR0KjldqbY6IN8EOkbt76NaGsmO0iBufx-ighKKkfq6bNaJx6I9Rv69jZ6cTtgnvqLVo00a3cfTTDeH0Y_w/s320/DSC_0056.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some light reading for our pool days (that so far has not happened ONCE... Ugandan weather has it in for us)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Missing this baby girl and all the other kiddos back home :( Why does she have to be so cute????</span></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-86882441709995316512012-06-16T12:15:00.002-07:002012-06-16T12:15:42.714-07:00Easy to Ignore<br />
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">David Platt wrote “Orphans are easier to ignore before you
know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces.
It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your
arms. But once you do, everything changes.</span>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">It’s true. Once you know an orphan’s name, see their faces,
and hold them in your arms it’s easy to fall in love. To passionately fight for
their rights to a family. It becomes even easier because “orphan care” is so in
right now. You can buy a trendy t-shirt and donate to someone’s adoption and write
a fancy blog decorated with cute baby pictures. You can move to Africa and open
an orphanage. Fill your home with cute and cuddly kids and fulfill your dream
of being a mother, all while claiming you are simply fulfilling God’s call to
care for the orphans. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">When we hear about a baby being abandoned in a sugar cane
field we grieve.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">When we learn about conditions at an orphanage we get angry. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">When we hear about an adoption we rejoice. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">But what about the families? Where are our tears of grief,
our angry rants, and our joy for them?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">When we hear about a family putting their child in an
orphanage because no one offered them any other option we should grieve. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">When we learn about children being taken from parents to be
trafficked for international adoption we should get angry. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">When we hear about a parent and child being reunited we
should rejoice.</span><span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">But instead people
are flocking to this country, stealing children away from families, lying on
paperwork, bribing officials, and trafficking kids out of this country. And the
sickest part of it all is that they justify it all by saying they are obeying
God’s command to care for the orphan. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9f5Uyc-IGmLAKrrXxRvSEklfE0niZcK-ooul-dkDGGLzMDRzJJ9wh3nkTaC02zu8lpAC6iSLzFUKZCsna-PBBPm8h8dCFY3o5M9qtWlRKrYah_ExQ6vIkcMrRHBztMxh0bK7F-016QWVO/s1600/DSC_0292.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: #666666;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9f5Uyc-IGmLAKrrXxRvSEklfE0niZcK-ooul-dkDGGLzMDRzJJ9wh3nkTaC02zu8lpAC6iSLzFUKZCsna-PBBPm8h8dCFY3o5M9qtWlRKrYah_ExQ6vIkcMrRHBztMxh0bK7F-016QWVO/s400/DSC_0292.JPG" width="267" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">Are we as the
church partially to blame for this? When we responded to God’s command to care
for the orphan did we focus too heavily on the adoption aspect? Has adoption
become too cool and driven people to adopt for the wrong reasons? Have we neglected
the widows God also commanded us to care for? Have we simply thrown ethics out
the window in our attempt to adopt all those poor African babies?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">My time in Uganda
this summer has made me angry at my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
Hearing horrific stories of birth mothers being lied to, children being stolen,
and mothers signing their rights over because no one offered them any other
options. And then meeting awesome adoptive parents who are adopting children who
truly need it and are doing everything ethically and legally. Seeing how their
adoptions are taking three times as long because they refuse to bribe and lie
and how they are stuck achingly waiting for their children because of all the
others who are not following the laws. It makes me so angry. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;">So tonight I’m
going to grieve, and get angry, and rejoice for the orphans AND the families
that are in this mess. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9f5Uyc-IGmLAKrrXxRvSEklfE0niZcK-ooul-dkDGGLzMDRzJJ9wh3nkTaC02zu8lpAC6iSLzFUKZCsna-PBBPm8h8dCFY3o5M9qtWlRKrYah_ExQ6vIkcMrRHBztMxh0bK7F-016QWVO/s1600/DSC_0292.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9f5Uyc-IGmLAKrrXxRvSEklfE0niZcK-ooul-dkDGGLzMDRzJJ9wh3nkTaC02zu8lpAC6iSLzFUKZCsna-PBBPm8h8dCFY3o5M9qtWlRKrYah_ExQ6vIkcMrRHBztMxh0bK7F-016QWVO/s1600/DSC_0292.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></a><span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I am going to
continue speaking out against the people trafficking children and speak up for
the families involved. And I’m going to stand in awe of the patient </span><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: 0.5in;">families
doing it the legal and ethical way, no matter how difficult that makes their
adoptions. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-14496561273049187642012-06-13T13:03:00.005-07:002012-06-13T13:10:22.589-07:00Blog Block<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have blog block. Like writers block but I can write
plenty, it’s the blogging that makes it hard. The more I understand this
blogging world, this country, and the more I grow and learn the harder it is to
sit down and write a blog post.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I want to write truth. I want people to enjoy the
beauty I see and get mad at the injustice here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I don’t want to write stories that are not mine to tell</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe8OcGUpKHfBF69G0It1xaJS4Uj7tUuTOz3OvOVhSsX-Ih0I-idILmBToqfstEJ66hJ7Ty1E8zAORjzQbCbteiaCHP8e8KuCs77SFJRjq5oY80ZmsIrVv6inyy6d8eztq4XbjMMr9KKohF/s1600/DSC_0193.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe8OcGUpKHfBF69G0It1xaJS4Uj7tUuTOz3OvOVhSsX-Ih0I-idILmBToqfstEJ66hJ7Ty1E8zAORjzQbCbteiaCHP8e8KuCs77SFJRjq5oY80ZmsIrVv6inyy6d8eztq4XbjMMr9KKohF/s320/DSC_0193.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t want to exploit the pain and suffering here. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t want you to read a story and respond only in pity. I
want to write well enough to communicate the beauty and joy hidden in the
sorrow. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How do I share these experiences in a way that honors these
people? In a way that does not take ownership over children and situations that
are not mine? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then there is the ugly. Children being trafficked for
international adoption, “orphanages” collecting children with families to make
money off of them, and families being ripped apart in the name of “orphan
care”. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How do you speak into these situations in a way that does
not offend so much that people refuse to listen? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be patient with me as I try and find the answer these
questions. As I pray and try to find creative ways to share that honors these people and communicated beauty. </div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-44140751223768628632012-05-29T01:29:00.002-07:002012-05-29T01:30:08.015-07:00In the Middle of His Story<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Our Church recently celebrated its
25<sup>th</sup> anniversary and instead of a sermon my father shared the story
of what the church has meant to our family. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
In 1994 my parents walked into
Christ Our Shepherd Church. My mother was battling cancer, my brother and I
were in preschool, and they had just moved to the area to be closer to family
and better medical care. They didn’t have time to look around at various
churches so they just picked COSC and decided to go with it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Over the next few years this church
walked with my dad as he lost his wife, raised two children on his own,
welcomed a new mom to our family, and added three more beautiful kids. My dad
went from bookkeeping so he’d be finished in time to get us from the bus to now
being the pastor. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
It’s been an incredible journey
that brought our entire family through dark places to times of rejoicing and I
can honestly say none of us would be the people we are today if it were not for
the love and support of our church. A church my parents walked into one random Sunday
became the backbone that sustained us through the years that were to come. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in
life that we forget who is writing our story. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
This story serves as a constant
reminder to me that God is writing our story. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I am reminded time and time again
when I go on home visits and see kids I thought had little or no future happy
and healthy with their families. When I think of the person I was two years ago
before landing in this country and the person I am now. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
When I lay awake at night worrying
about children’s cases that seem hopeless to me I have to remember that God is
writing their story too. When Kelsey and I worry about fundraising for Abide
and the perfect future we’ve envisioned in our heads coming to a crashing end. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
He is writing our stories. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
It has becoming the resounding
promise playing in my head, offering hope when I step into these dark places. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
That woman left with eleven
children to care for… He’s writing her story. That child in and out of
orphanages… He’s writing his story. That beautiful little girl laughing in her
grandma’s arms… He’s writing her story. The child whose future has more
questions than answers… He’s writing her story. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
And He only writes beautiful
stories. Beautiful stories that bring Him glory. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPLQytpFZWvMBjIVpMy-V2cRLVKECweZwNbSQLi7RmsvmGZ8VHNxWL4_a771qd2ucDR4Cex1YINV9Qjx_hdTWqL2x5s-gEKyhyphenhyphenTOYBkntzlBLFrath0gFEV4n6pUL8QzMjkO4Y2a92kOqr/s1600/Uganda+2012+010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPLQytpFZWvMBjIVpMy-V2cRLVKECweZwNbSQLi7RmsvmGZ8VHNxWL4_a771qd2ucDR4Cex1YINV9Qjx_hdTWqL2x5s-gEKyhyphenhyphenTOYBkntzlBLFrath0gFEV4n6pUL8QzMjkO4Y2a92kOqr/s320/Uganda+2012+010.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
What joy it is to be in the middle
of His story. <span class="MsoSubtleReference"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-45261685805457159952012-05-13T18:19:00.001-07:002012-05-13T18:19:29.880-07:00If you haven't already you have to check out our brand new website!<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="http://www.abidefamilycenter.org/">www.abidefamilycenter.org</a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And as you're checking it out in all its awesomeness you'll notice we have a blog on the website (cool huh?) so from here on out all blog posts that are specifically ministry focused will be on there. We'll post links to these blog posts on our Abide facebook and twitter page. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So this blog is back to being my personal blog where i'll post all my ramblings as I process this crazy life I get to live. Kelsey is thinking about getting a personal blog as well and if she does I will definitely link to it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If you want to get notifications when this blog is updated you can subscribe. If you're not tech savy enough to figure that all out (like me) you can shoot me an email (megster16@gmail.com) and i'll send you a notice in your inbox every time I update the blog. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
T-minus five days until i'm back in Uganda!</div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-36353298733383841352012-04-20T18:42:00.000-07:002012-04-20T18:42:01.380-07:00An Open Letter to Kony2012 Participants<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dear
Invisible Children supporter,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I hope you
will hear us out. I want to start off by
saying that we are not blindly criticizing your efforts and we know that you
love and care about the Ugandan people just like we do. The human connection can be a wonderful
thing, but only if we are willing to listen- and I mean really listen. In fact, that’s why we are writing to you, we
hope that it is because you care so much, you would be willing to think through
some of this and thoughtfully reconsider plastering the face and name of a
vicious warlord throughout our city.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m sorry
you’ve had to spend so much time defending criticisms that just aren’t true- We
know that you are aware that the conflict moved out of Uganda in 2006 and that
Kony has moved into Central Africa. We
know that you understand that this conflict is complex. We know that you favor a peaceful resolution
over the use of military- we know that you see this as<a href="" name="_GoBack"></a> an
option of last resort. We know that
Invisible Children does work on the ground- we are familiar with the Schools
for Schools program, the LRA Crisis Tracker, etc. So if you’re still with us, that is not what
we will be addressing in this letter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We believe
that you mean well, and truly want to see Joseph Kony brought to justice and
the LRA disarmed. We believe that this
event is full of young people who desire peace and restoration in a region that
has experienced the terror of this rebel group for more than 26 years. But maybe our place is partnering, not paving
the way- If we are going to help, listening is critical, and abandoning our
entitlement to solving Africa's problems and telling Africa's story is key.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The central
and most important issue with the approach to Kony 2012 and Cover the Night-
How the people the film is about feel. If you think otherwise, you should probably
reconsider your advocacy for this issue all together. No seriously. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
reactions to screenings of the film in Northern Uganda were extremely negative
for the most part. Many Ugandans are
deeply troubled by the campaign- among many strong emotions and reactions; a
common theme seems to be that Ugandans feel exploited by Kony 2012.
Exploited? Man, when we tell someone
else’s story, if they feel exploited we should probably reconsider the way we
are telling it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Our stand
against Cover the Night, therefore, is not in light of our own personal
opinions or qualms with Invisible Children- It is in honor of Ugandan friends,
who are more like family. Because we
feel it is most important that their voices are heard. While we may feel so deeply connected to the
pain and suffering so many have experienced as a result of Kony and his rebel
army, our entitlement to the commodification of a warlord's name is a result of
it becoming "our cause" instead of realizing it is their cause and
has been since before we were born. It seems we have decided that we don't
really care if this is approach upsets Ugandans; we're getting the job done
right- or are we?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I beg you to
reconsider. I beg you to try and realize
the insensitivity of plastering the face and name of Kony in public
spaces. His name is one, that for many,
is still hard to speak. It carries with
it pain and terrible memories of living in fear. A survivor of LRA attacks responds to Kony
2012: "If people in those countries
care about us, they will not wear t-shirts with pictures of Joseph Kony for any
reason. That would celebrate our
suffering". So maybe the way we are
going about this is not okay. Maybe
there is another, more effective and appropriate way of coming alongside
Ugandans, Congolese, Sudanese, and others of this region to show our support in
bringing Kony to justice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With the
start of the campaign coming 6 months after U.S. troops had been deployed and
literally no concrete evidence that the U.S. troops will be pulled out if you fail
to plaster Joseph Kony’s face and name throughout your respective city- One
must question the timing and purpose of this event and campaign in
general. The troops were already working
with the UPDF and now other military forces in the region. Hanging up signs, watching a video, and
wearing a t-shirt will unfortunately not aid in Kony’s capture- so if some of
these actions are viewed as insensitive and exploitative, maybe they should not
be a part of our advocacy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What we suggest instead- Think before
you do<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Knowledge
and critical thinking are wonderful things.
So is acknowledging our ignorance about this conflict- it allows us to
place the focus and attention on efforts being made by Africans to bring peace
to the region. To listen and hear how
they believe this should be done, and to respond accordingly. It is very clear that the approach Invisible
Children has taken largely fails to do this.
So, we are going to provide a few resources to get you started. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Two important
resources: </span><a href="http://www.ugandaspeaks.com/"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">www.ugandaspeaks.com</span></a><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> & </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.makingsenseofkony.org/">www.makingsenseofkony.org</a></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Both sites
have compiled research, writings, videos, etc. on the problems with Kony 2012
and a way forward. Acknowledging that
opening up respectful dialogue between all parties is key in appropriate and
effective activism.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This is not
to discourage you from being involved, just asking that you reconsider the
approach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Best,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kelsey
Nielsen</span></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-89382482719080750012012-04-09T13:52:00.003-07:002012-04-09T13:52:41.637-07:00Let's Talk About STMsA while back the internet blog world exploded with talk about the effectiveness of short terms mission's trips (STMs). For spring break this year I went on a short term service trip through my university to inner city Philadelphia. I will shamefully admit I mostly did it for the credit and I was nervous about how my new found thoughts on short term trips would play out. As part of our follow up assignment I wrote a fictional letter from a community member to our group that I hope highlights some of my thoughts on short term trips.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear volunteers,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I can tell you
are here because you want to help. I can see that this is not a fun spring
break trip for you- no one is forcing you to be here or rewarding you if you do
well. I can tell you care. There is something to be said for knowing that
people care enough to get on a bus and drive three hours to be with us for a
week. It tells us that we are noticed and that our community and all its challenges
are not being ignored by the rest of America. But I do have to stop and wonder
whether you care about us or whether you care about the idea of us. Did you get
on that bus for this week to help poor inner city kids or did you get on that
bus to meet new people and learn and grow from them? Are you here for the
individual or the collective group? Are you leaving your stereotypes and
preconceived notions at the door or hauling them along with you as you serve? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The truth is,
while admirable; your work here is not going to change anything. Sometimes we
are left wondering whether these trips are about us at all. Are we merely tools
in a journey for you to find yourself, earn a credit, and feel good about how
you spent your spring break? The kids you tutored you just left behind. The
trash you picked up is already back on the streets. The walkway you built could
have been done by community members who actually knew what they were doing and
needed jobs. I do not mean to sound ungrateful, because we truly did enjoy
visiting with you and could tell you genuinely desired to serve us, but I did
sense a bit of naïve about the effect of your service. In trips such as these
there seems to be a lack of evaluation of the long term effects and sometimes I
cannot help wondering whether the money spent to bring you all here could have
been put to better use. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I guess I am
left with the hope that meeting us and working with and for us did bring about
lasting change in you. Perhaps you will tutor children in your own neighborhood
now, perhaps your mind was opened and you feel you better understand others in
similar circumstances now. Maybe one day you will grow up to do inner-city work
full time. As a member of this community, I would be glad to have been a part
of helping you grow in these ways. I hope you were able to learn from us and
that you let yourself come away from the idea that you were only there to serve
and teach us. True learning and community is only built when the serving goes
both ways. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That is where
the beauty in this arrangement is found. When we are able to put aside the idea
that you are rich and I am poor, you are educated and I am not, you are white
and I am black, you are suburbian and I am urban. When we take all those
differences and still find a safe place to find what we have in common. When
both you and I have our eyes opened to the fact that we are really not that
different after all. You might learn that I graduated school with straight As
and I might learn that you grew up as a minority in your community. With those
revelations we accomplish what would never have been accomplished before, we
break down stereotypes and preconceived ideas and we form an unlikely, although
brief, community. That is the ultimate, and my hope is that is what we can accomplish
through these trips and experiences. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Sincerely,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Community Member</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Let us know your thoughts! How do we do STMs well? How do we avoid the dreaded "savior mentality"? Have you been on a STM trip? Do you find them beneficial?</span></div>
</div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-57805994854489729542012-03-23T11:10:00.002-07:002012-03-23T11:15:30.443-07:00We Finally Make a Decision About How We Feel About the Kony2012 Campaign<p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); ">We think Jason Russell deserves grace and love and prayer. I (Megan) am sorry for how I first reacted to the news, thinking it was a drunken escapade when it turned out to be a psychotic break. The hate directed at him from the online world is sickening.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); ">We think we need to listen to the Ugandan people as we decide how to respond to the Kony2012 campaign. Joseph Kony has affected Sudan, DRC, and CAR, but the Ugandan people have suffered the most and if they believe they are being exploited we need to listen. Please watch this film. It completely changed my (Megan) view on the campaign. I no longer support it at all. And I had to admit Kelsey was right all along <span style="font-family: Wingdings; ">J</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><span style="font-family: Wingdings; "><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><span ><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/rU_1jnrj5VI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><span style="font-family: Wingdings; "><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); ">We believe about 70% of the criticism towards Invisible Children floating around is not justified. But the 30% that is is cause for real concern. Do you research and check your sources.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); ">We believe Joseph Kony needs to be brought to justice and that the killing and kidnapping needs to stop. We don’t believe a t-shirt or a 30 minute video or a bracelet or a poster will accomplish that.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); ">We believe the people at Invisible Children are honest people who believe they are doing good work. When criticizing them we need to be respectful and kind.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); ">We believe a God bigger than ourselves and Joseph Kony holds the world in the palm of His hand. We believe He is a God of justice and we pray for justice for Joseph Kony and healing for all those he has hurt.</p>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-35033583632563921522012-03-15T18:42:00.000-07:002012-03-16T19:46:57.939-07:00I am one of the fatherless.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAGfNWKeGcls7o3veUKxGfw_UF6LUu4rSMfcL3hy_nOOSMfakOlkUW5EnLSjfa7gTxOMzIjC9ZUEHbgXKlYDdU49rizQwmIJtkgbsbGETlCse4Qgfd71dy_tIAKitk5weH-O_yQlTAgT3R/s1600/Dad4.jpg" style="font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; "><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 242px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAGfNWKeGcls7o3veUKxGfw_UF6LUu4rSMfcL3hy_nOOSMfakOlkUW5EnLSjfa7gTxOMzIjC9ZUEHbgXKlYDdU49rizQwmIJtkgbsbGETlCse4Qgfd71dy_tIAKitk5weH-O_yQlTAgT3R/s320/Dad4.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5719217615481895826" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwQvnVM5DTkGJLDK9S1lt9TDaqgrSp_KFupIB-BR1rAWsnY2_FVxCwtzeEF8tvLORe3m22IOr-KdfZrBJKSfOrilPIxh3yPRZLMyWgwaSmwMBnMsIpFDa4NAiYxWDhoArUkEA3pdefewbo/s1600/Dad43.jpg" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 305px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwQvnVM5DTkGJLDK9S1lt9TDaqgrSp_KFupIB-BR1rAWsnY2_FVxCwtzeEF8tvLORe3m22IOr-KdfZrBJKSfOrilPIxh3yPRZLMyWgwaSmwMBnMsIpFDa4NAiYxWDhoArUkEA3pdefewbo/s320/Dad43.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5711416780267367538" /></a><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center; "><span><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy dwelling place</span> - Psalm 68:5</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: pre; "> </span><span>We don't usually get personal on this blog, we stick to 'business' I guess you could say. I've been praying about this post the last few days- because Abide is not about Megan or I and our stories. It is about the God we serve and what He is going to do in the lives of families in Uganda. Redemption. Restoration. Beauty from the ashes. That is the God we serve. </span>Humbled<span> by our limitations and thankful we get to see Him show up in big ways for Uganda's poorest and most marginalized. </span></span><span>But I feel it important to at least shed some light on why I believe so strongly in Abide and fighting for families to be kept together. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><span>Megan and myself are both 'orphans'. Some of you already know this, some of you may not. We are both half orphans by definition. Megan's Mother died when she was 5 and my Dad died when I was 14. This will be the only time I speak for Megan and myself in this post- Having lost a parent, we understand what that absence feels like. There was and always will be one very important person missing at every significant </span><span>milestone</span><span>- College graduation, wedding days, and the birth of grandchildren. We did not however, experience the reality of our family being ripped apart after we were 'orphaned'. Our families stayed together because they were given the chance to. Had we grown up in Uganda, our stories might have looked quite different. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><b>We fight because we believe when God required us to love the orphan and the widow, that He did not mean we should take the orphan away from the widow without first offering to come alongside her so that she might get the chance to keep her child.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span>When my Dad died people were cooking meals for us non-stop, our house was consistently full of people who loved us in the days and weeks following. Soon enough our house emptied and we were finally left to grieve and try to understand the ugly reality of my Dad's life ending here on earth. Not ugly for him, but pretty stinkin' ugly for us. While money could be no compensation for his passing, <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>we were very blessed to receive life insurance and social security. We also benefited from free school lunches and CHIP/medicaid. As a single Mother with 4 kids, my Mom would have had an extremely difficult time making ends meet without insurance and government assistance. </span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><span>This month, March 19th to be exact, is the anniversary of my Father's death. He passed away suddenly of a periodic embolism {a blood clot that traveled from his legs to his lungs after having surgery}. As many memories fade, what his life and death taught me have only been strengthened through living and working in Uganda. </span><span>I believe in a God who has perfect plans.<i> A God who works for the good of those who love Him</i>. And sometimes {okay A LOT of the time} He works really ugly things into really good things. The perfect example of Jesus on the cross. The messy example of me- a sinner, saved by grace.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span>Why am I writing this? You can not understand my heart for Abide without also understanding that I, as a half-orphan, was given the chance to stay with my Mom. To be raised in my family. This is something I believe every child and family has the right to. Regardless of where you are born, I believe you deserve the chance to grow up in the family God decided to place you with first. No, I know, this is not always possible. Sometimes parents and extended families want nothing to do with their child. But may we not make the mistake in assuming that because a child is abandoned or placed in an orphanage that it MUST mean they are unloved. That we offer family strengthening as an OPTION before removal. As the church, may we begin loving the orphan so much so, that we work with urgency to help keep them in their families.</span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span>-Kelsey</span></div><div style="text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style=" font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center; font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); "><span><br /></span></span><br /></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-18967801431862965582012-03-04T14:52:00.004-08:002012-03-06T07:26:43.404-08:00The Village Model: Can it Replace a Family?<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; text-align: center; "><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; text-indent: 0.5in; ">A new model for orphan care that is growing in popularity across the African continent is called the village model. This approach seeks to reduce the negative effects of institutional care by having one consistent caregiver care for 8-12 children of varying ages in a home like environment. Typically a number of huts or small homes are built on a compound with the “mother” and the children each having their own. The school, clinic, and main offices are nearby so a stronger community feel is produced within the context of these smaller homes. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; text-indent: 0.5in; ">The model is a good one and one we believe certainly reduces some of the negative effects of the traditional institutional care. However we believe it is detrimental to believe this model is good enough to provide for children as a long term solution. We do not believe the “family” created is able to give the children all that a real family could. Here are some issues we have with the Village Model. </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; text-indent: -0.25in; "><!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; "> </span><!--[endif]-->The women who are hired to be the mother’s in the home have a conflict between caring for their own children and the children they have been hired to care for. Some models force the women to leave their biological children behind with family members. We believe it is hypocritical to break apart a family in order to try and create a new one. Other models allow the women to take their biological children into the home with them. With this you can have a real issue with the mother favoring her biological children. She has not made a sacrificial decision to care for these orphans; she is being hired to do it. While I would imagine many of these mothers love these children I do not believe doing a job is going to produce the same kind of nurture that caring for one’s child would. </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; text-indent: -0.25in; "><!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; "> </span><!--[endif]-->The ratio of caregiver to children is not what it would typically be in a home. The best of these models has a ratio of 1:8 and the worst 1:12. It is very difficult to give that many children the love and attention they deserve or that they would receive in a traditional family. </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; text-indent: -0.25in; "><!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; "> </span><!--[endif]-->There is very little male influence. Nearly always a widow is hired to lead the home so the children are not given a father figure. The importance of a father figure is a whole other topic for another day but we believe that fathers are important and that, when possible, children should have the chance to have them. Unlike a single mother household these children rarely leave the compound so they are not given the opportunity to even form relationships with uncles, grandfathers, or male family friends. </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; text-indent: -0.25in; "><!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; "> </span><!--[endif]-->The children are not exposed to the world. Usually the clinic and school are on the same compound so children can go their entire lives without leaving that environment. In a typical family a child has gone to market with their mother, ridden the bus with their father, and bargained for household supplies with an older brother. Children in this environment are never given the opportunity to learn these life skills that they will need to lead healthy and productive lives. </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; text-indent: -0.25in; "><!--[if !supportLists]-->5.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; "> </span><!--[endif]-->It is hard to oversee the women in the homes. In a traditional orphanage the children and workers are grouped together in the same living environment so an abusive or neglectful worker will be easier to identify and deal with. In the village model the only people there to witness abuse are the children themselves and they are much less likely to speak out. </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; text-indent: -0.25in; "><!--[if !supportLists]-->6.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; "> </span><!--[endif]-->Infants are often not included in this model. Typically infants are given the more traditional orphanage care and then placed in the village model when they are around two years of age. Please see this <a href="http://arisehome.blogspot.com/2011/09/negative-effects-of-institutional-care.html">post</a> where we discuss the dangers of institutional care. In their early years the infants are not given a consistent care giver to attach to or given as stimulating an environment as a family could. Developmental psychologists agree that the first two years of life are crucial for our development as healthy human beings. Instead these models provide the children less consistent care when they are infants, setting them up for possible future mental health issues. </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; text-indent: -0.25in; "><!--[if !supportLists]-->7.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; "> </span><!--[endif]-->When they age out they have no family to return to. The best of these models pay for university and help place the children in a job but where do these children go for Christmas dinner? In traditional African society family ties are everything- they are how you get jobs and promotions and who you rely on when you hit a rough patch. Without this, these children are already at a real disadvantage before they even set out in life. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; ">So while we think this model is better than traditional orphanage care we do not believe it should ever replace a family. If a child has the opportunity to be re-unified with biological family members or adopted into a new family they absolutely should. No matter how great the village model is a real family will always be able to provide better for a child. Village models that prevent children from being adopted because they believe they can provide as good or better care than a family are greatly mistaken. We believe this is a dangerous way to approach orphan care and is doing great harm to children. Children belong in families!</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; "><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; "><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto; "><span>This is not meant to be critical, but we truly believe that as Christians caring for orphans and widows, we should do so to the best of our ability. That yes, there are millions of orphans and other vulnerable children that we are called to serve. However, we must examine where funds are to be directed and how to best serve these children and families with relevant and culturally appropriate models.</span></span></p>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-17146829861682915972012-02-27T18:45:00.004-08:002012-02-27T18:50:04.194-08:00Ethical Adoption: Questions to AskWe've had a few potential adoptive parents ask us for advice on ensuring there adoption is ethical. Obviously there is not one cookie cutter response- every adoption, child, and situation is unique. <div><br /></div><div>But if you are looking for a great resource of questions to ask your agency/orphanage to investigate the ethics of your adoption please visit this blog. It was written for DRC but a lot of it also applies to Uganda or really any international adoption as well. </div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://kitumaini.blogspot.com/2012/02/questions-for-prospective-adoptive.html">http://kitumaini.blogspot.com/2012/02/questions-for-prospective-adoptive.html</a> </div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-51075757328598259472012-02-20T20:06:00.003-08:002012-02-21T09:27:58.768-08:00A well-meaning but harmful approach to OVC care in Africa<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJJDHhUhuwFgkkMKMflbkMkDcSUjoqois3i2ePs7GjE2eYM6tOEsLEIm_cULtMIAYy1x4GTggcuhgTytPy5iVWhdJr3jgel4QK3yWixcn4_VLxQAbhkBMfaNPiaf37SRqFbZrDDykwRcXe/s1600/Jehovah37.JPG" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJJDHhUhuwFgkkMKMflbkMkDcSUjoqois3i2ePs7GjE2eYM6tOEsLEIm_cULtMIAYy1x4GTggcuhgTytPy5iVWhdJr3jgel4QK3yWixcn4_VLxQAbhkBMfaNPiaf37SRqFbZrDDykwRcXe/s320/Jehovah37.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5711444547043217826" /></a><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; text-align: center; "><span>Dan was placed with Julie through a domestic adoption in Uganda. Dan was 4 1/2 when Julie became his Mom.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span><br /></span></div><div><span><i>This should really be split into 3 separate posts but I am just going to divide it into three sections instead. I really appreciate and value all feedback and criticism. Please feel free to comment or email me at: tub56099@temple.edu</i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><b><span><br /></span></b></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><b><span >Why numbers can send the wrong message</span></b></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><b><span><br /></span></b></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span><span>In reference to the number of orphans globally, the estimate usually falls into the 132-210 million range. While these numbers are shocking and can be helpful in raising awareness about the HUGE need for the church and international community to respond to the orphan crisis or as I would like to call the</span><span> </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">OVC</span><span> </span><span>crisis (Orphans and Other Vulnerable Children), these large statistics seem to, more often than not, misinform the audience they are intended for. It is my perception that when people hear these big numbers, they think that there are literally 100's of millions of children across the world ready and waiting to be adopted. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: -webkit-auto; "><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span>Now I am going to throw out a few other numbers (I know I know, everyone just <i>loves</i> numbers...I promise this will be the last time I throw statistics at you in this post)- While calculating an exact number is tricky, a recent estimate is that there are approximately 16 million children worldwide who have lost both parents. 8 million children are estimated to be living in institutional care internationally. So where do we get these big estimates reaching as high as 210 million orphans? They aren't necessarily wrong, however I fear they can be very misleading to the individual not willing to take the time to breakdown and understand what they are really saying. </span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span>What the numbers are saying- there ARE anywhere from 132-210 million children globally who have lost one or both parents. What the numbers are not saying- there are NOT 132-210 million children who are totally abandoned, unloved, and in need of our rescuing by way of institutionalization or adoption. </span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span>Yes, SOME of the children who fall under these large statistics have been abandoned or totally orphaned. Some children can not be kept in their natural families or country of origin because of stigmas, cultural barriers or extenuating circumstances that limit or prevent in-country placement. And it is critical for us to answer THAT call. To adopt the children where international adoption is truly their best and only option at having a family, and to promote in-country options for the larger majority of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">OVC</span>. To love these kids so much so that we put their rights ahead of our values and concepts of what constitutes a 'good life'.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span>The Hague Convention and the U.N.'s Convention on the Rights of the Child have stressed the importance of striving for family preservation and when that is not possible, in-country options through kinship care or domestic adoption outside the extended family should be given priority over international adoption. As always I feel the need to say this: I am all for international adoption when it is in the best interest of the child, but what has become destructive is international adoption as a first priority. And that, that breaks my heart. </span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span>____________________</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span ><b>The "America as superior" attitude</b> </span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span><b style="font-size: large; "><br /></b></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span>It breaks my heart what we are saying to families when instead of working to help them keep their children, we take their children away in the form of well meaning institutions. It breaks my heart to think about what we are saying to Ugandan families when we don't first ask if they would like to adopt their children. Are we asserting that this isn't even worth exploring? That Ugandan families won't be able to provide the ideal 'better life' we have in mind for their orphans, so we must bring them to America? The colonial era in Africa has ended, but have we really progressed toward viewing the African people as equal? Or does our privilege and power as members of Western society come in handy in making decisions for other nation's children? It seems as though we still convey very imperialistic attitudes, and they are even well-meaning! The terms we all use, "developing", "third world", "less-developed"- they are more weighted than I think we realize. And when I see we, I truly mean we- myself included.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span>Those words carry with them a "less-than" connotation, whether we intend it to or not. That in countries like Uganda, they are "less-developed" than us, therefore awarding us a sense of superiority. "less-than" does assert we are "more-than", does it not? Before you get angry and think I feel I have some authority to preach on this, please know I am writing this to myself just as much as anyone else. I have the "I'm American, so I know best" mentality just as much as the next gal or guy. To make a long story short, I think that there is MUCH need for exploration into this arena. Please do not take this as an attack on the call to adopt or orphan advocacy. It's not. This is a plea with myself and with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to wrestle with our actions and decisions when we step out into the mission field. May we explore the possibility that wrapped up in our charity there can be very oppressive ideologies that inhibit true social justice for marginalized populations in the same countries we claim to love. Might these realizations convict us and help us move beyond charity and toward justice for the poor. This is after all what God has required of us. <i>Jeremiah 22:3. Do justice and righteousness, and <b>deliver the one who has been robbed from the power of his oppressor</b>. </i> May we not be the oppressor of the poor but the lovers who fight alongside them.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span>Are you turned off by this post all together? Don't give up yet! I am going to try and present this a bit differently and hope that maybe it offends you less and rather just gets you to start thinking about what it is I am really trying to communicate here.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span>There are many couples in the U.S. that can not have children. Some can have children and are just interested in expanding their family through adoption. There are babies born to women who can not or do not wish to care for them. Most of these birth moms will meet with a social worker and adoption counselor to make sure that they know and understand what signing over the rights to their child means- legally and emotionally. These professionals will make sure that the mom is aware of her options. That if she wished to keep the baby, there are safety-nets in place that would help alleviate some of the economic strain this baby would have for her. Even still, many mothers make the difficult decision to place their child with an adoptive family who will love and provide for the child in ways she doesn't desire to or feel she is fit to. We respect this decision, and while we mourn the loss of a child growing up with their birth mother, we celebrate the beauty God can bring through that brokenness- adoption.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span>Now imagine this: adoption agencies in the U.S. begin contacting European countries to ask them if they would be interested in adopting the available children in our country. Bypassing all the potential adoptive families in the U.S. for families in countries that are seen by the agencies as "more developed". They've heard people in Europe are quite happy with their national healthcare and extensive social welfare services, so the agencies figured they'd do better by placing these children in European countries instead. Would we sit idly by and watch this happen? No way. We would be holding onto those kids kicking and screaming. Questioning the agencies for their ignorance in assuming we wouldn't take the kids when, had we been asked we most certainly would. Had we been asked and then turned down the chance to care for those kids, maybe then you could place them in other countries. But you better ask us first. We are Americans and those are American children.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span>This same entitlement we would have to our own children, we have to Africa's children. I am really still in the processes of grappling with why exactly that is. Why when a brand new baby is orphaned in Uganda do we dream of the beauty God will bring through an international adoption to America instead of a domestic adoption into a lovely Ugandan family? And if you are convinced adoption outside the extended family just isn't something Ugandans do you can read all about some wonderful examples here: <a href="http://www.childsifoundation.org/blog/page/2/">Child's i Foundation</a></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span >______________</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><b><span >Why Ugandan children are in institutional care and why it doesn't mean Ugandans don't love their kids</span></b></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span>Something Megan pointed out that I was neglecting to address originally in this dialogue: If Ugandans are willing to adopt and care for OVC in their country through resettlement, kinship care, or adoption why is it estimated that nearly 40,000 children are living in institutional care in Uganda? In 2009, preparing to leave for my first trip to Uganda, I originally thought a child in an orphanage was just what I expected them to be, an orphan. I thought they were all children who had either lost both parents or had been abandoned and therefore had no one to love them. Boy was I wrong, but what else was I supposed to think? Surely a child would not be living in institutional care instead of their family if they had someone out there who loved them. </span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span><br /></span></div><div><span><span><span>Adoption through kinship care has been and is still the most common practice for 'orphan care' in Africa- And many even consider it the</span></span><i style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "> best </i><span><span>option for these children if proper supports are in place. Why then are so many children being pushed out of their homes and into orphanages? Yes, some caregivers on extended families </span>truly<span> do not want their child. I am however speaking to the majority where inadequate safety-nets and the economic strains of an additional child are the primary reasons for child abandonment or </span>institutionalization<span>. So the first challenge I have in this is that we start questioning the root causes of each child's case. That instead of assuming </span></span></span></div><div><span><span>that because a caregiver or family was unable to provide for them, it must mean they don't really love them- that we would make sure no mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandmother or grandfather is signing the rights away to their child because of money. And that we are providing a true alternative. That instead of simply providing the option of </span>institutionalization<span> or adoption, we say "If you were to keep the child, I would come alongside you and your family and help you". We wouldn't think it appropriate to remove a child in America from a family that loved them but was just too poor. We'd make sure they knew about the various government programs available to help alleviate the financial stress of care</span>giving<span>. Family preservation efforts should be given just as high a priority in Uganda.</span></span></div><div><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><span>I want to point you to this quote f</span>or a quote from a Zambian pastor after a visit to America<span>:<a href="http://www.togetherforadoption.org/?p=9431">International Adoption and the Western Mindset</a>, "</span><i><span style="background-color: rgb(239, 241, 230); line-height: 24px; "> </span><span style="background-color: rgb(239, 241, 230); line-height: 24px; ">What I found rather surprising, however, was the lack of knowledge and appreciation of the African extended family system. So, although I initially set up this blog in order to give my church a peep into the outside world, I thought of writing a blog to inform the West about what is common knowledge back home. Whereas to the Western mind, an orphan, having lost both father and mother, is destined to either be adopted or spend the rest of his or her childhood days in an orphanage, to an African mind, the child still has many fathers and mothers, and consequently many homes to live in"</span></i> </span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><span style="background-color: rgb(239, 241, 230); line-height: 24px; "><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span>Now, for the children who can not be kept in their immediate or extended families through offering community and family based support. This is the grey area for many, and I don't think it's completely black and white for me either. That's why I feel it </span>necessary<span> that each child's case truly be assessed on an individual basis. Some children will be easy to place in a Ugandan family. Many Ugandans have and continue to adopt children outside of their family. It is possible. It is happening. If a child is difficult to place in a Ugandan family or you just can't find a family, I truly believe it is in the child's best interest to be placed internationally- and those international adoptions ARE beautiful. These are the ethical standards of the United Nations that I haven't been able to argue against yet. I am not going to do the usual listing of specific demographics of children that I think make for ethical international adoptions, because I think we can get too stuck on those categories dictating whether an adoption is ethical or not. Megan wrote a good post on that here: <a href="http://www.arisehome.blogspot.com/2012/01/total-orphan-im-sorry-but-its-not-that.html">Total Orphan, I'm Sorry it's Not That Simple</a> </span></span></div><div><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span><span>What needs to happen, as I said before, is the assessment and adequate time given to each child's case. That a child is not removed from their family or country of origin </span>unnecessarily because we make passionate and well-meaning decisions without giving proper attention to the alternatives and the possibility that we in fact, may not be the best option for that child. This was something I learned through Dan's story (pictures above). This is a journey I've been on and am continuing to process, and I would be happy to tell you more about Dan and his adoption if you'd like to hear about it!</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><i>_____________________</i></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><i><br /></i></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; "><span><i><span>In sum: This post is a reminder to myself, just as much as anyone who reads it. That my well-meaning actions and decisions can often be extremely detrimental to the culture and people I am working with. That I, as an American social worker, will always be at a disadvantage in adequately assessing the needs of children and families in Uganda. To be aware of how limited my knowledge is of the family dynamics and other cultural norms. To accept that there are just some decisions that are not mine to make. To ask questions and remain teachable. And to </span>listen, <span>and I mean really listen to the voices of the people I am serving. I think then and only then will we start to see a shift from our perceived needs of the Ugandan people toward addressing the deeply rooted structures and ideologies that have created or perpetuated these needs.</span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span>-Kelsey</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-size: medium; "><br /></div></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-13212367555553155762012-02-15T13:18:00.000-08:002012-02-15T13:19:24.075-08:00It's a Mystery<p class="MsoNormal">I’m sitting in a healing prayer training class and hearing stories of limbs growing, wounds coming together, tumors disappearing- all under the outstretched arms of praying tongues. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">And in all honesty it freaks me out. Makes me uncomfortable. Not “my kind” of Christianity. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">But the speaker leans forward and softly addresses that burning question: when we pray for healing why are some the receivers of miracles and others not? I think of my own mother- the young mother of two small children, a cherished wife, and a talented midwife. For months we asked and begged for healing. We even believed that God had promised it to her. What kind of God would let a mother of two small children die? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think of Baby Joel snuggled in our arms while prayers poured out of our mouths like a waterfall. If love and prayers were all it took why isn’t he here learning to crawl and tasting his first solid foods?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think of Ajuma sitting in a hospital with his face twisted in pain and a father so committed he took our breath away. For months we used up all our resources and like a teaser he improved. Were we naïve to believe it was working? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">And despite the prayers and the money and the love God took them all away. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">This God that can grow limbs and heal wounds and shrink tumors… why not a mother with two small children? Why not an infant who hadn’t even experienced life? Why not the little boy with a family willing to give up the world for him?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The speaker smiles and says, “we don’t know. This healing business: it’s a mystery”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s a mystery. And somehow there is freedom in that. Freedom to stop thinking and trying to come up with an answer. Freedom to just trust this God of the universe. Maybe I don’t have to have it all figured out. Maybe I don’t need a well supported opinion for every issue. Maybe it’s okay to sometimes just accept that it is a mystery. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">There is humility in learning to submit to mystery. To bravely admit, “I just don’t know.”</p>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-20753643739066808302012-02-02T07:45:00.000-08:002012-02-02T07:53:46.829-08:00Please Vote!<div style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); ">We have a really exciting and unique opportunity to enter and potentially win the Dell Social Innovation Challenge.</div><div style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); ">As college students who are launching a non-profit we are eligible to win up to a 50,000 grand prize. There are a lot of other great projects, but we REALLY believe in Abide and the burden God has placed on our hearts for these families at-risk to put their children in an orphanage.</div><div style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><br /></div><div style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); ">So how can you help?</div><div style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><br /></div><div style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><b>If you have two minutes...</b></div><div style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><br /></div><div style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); ">VOTE for us! You can vote by going here <a href="http://www.dellchallenge.org/projects/abide-family-center" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(17, 85, 204); ">http://www.<wbr>dellchallenge.org/projects/<wbr>abide-family-center</a> </div><div style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><br /></div><div style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); "><div>1) Click "Register" at the TOP RIGHT CORNER</div><div><br /></div><div>2) Enter your information (Name, Email, password)</div><div><br /></div><div>3) Check off the first option under "How do you want to participate?"</div><div><br /></div><div>4) Check off that you agree to the terms and conditions</div><div><br /></div><div>5)Go to your email inbox and click the link they send to validate your account</div><div><br /></div><div>6) Then you can VOTE FOR ABIDE!</div><div><br /></div><div><b>If you have five minutes...</b></div><div><br /></div><div>GET THE WORD OUT! Post this plea for votes to your facebook page, your blog, your twitter account, your tumblr, and/or send an email out to your contacts. </div><div><br /></div><div>This would mean so much to us and really help us start bringing in the votes.</div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks everyone!</div><div><br /></div></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-69602702343089300162012-01-26T08:48:00.000-08:002012-01-26T08:54:35.066-08:00Ownership in Adoption<div style="font-family: arial;"><p class="MsoNormal">When does a child “belong” to their adopted families?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This is a question I’ve been contemplating the last few days because I think it's a question that is at the heart of adoption ethics. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think often times an adoptive parents finds themselves in the middle of a very unethical situation because they have come to view the adoptive child as theirs and will go to any lengths to get their child home. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">They’ll lie on documents or to the courts.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">They’ll bribe officials. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">They’ll ignore red flags. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">They’ll view the birth parents as threats.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Because in their mind this child already belongs to them and naturally we would do whatever it takes for our children. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">So is this wrong? Many waiting adoptive parents do believe the children they are matched with belongs to them. They believe that God has ordained them to be their son or daughter- that the day they were born they were meant to be a part of their family. They get that referral picture and they believe that all their dreams have come true. They look at that picture and see their son or daughter.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I get this. I walked through an international adoption with my aunt a few years ago. When we got that referral she was ours. The moment that picture was in our hands she was a beloved daughter and granddaughter and niece and cousin. I know about sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to watch the two minute video of the waiting child on repeat over and over again. I know about tracing the lines of the one photo you have until it's worn around the edges and there isn't a single detail you haven't dissected. We hadn't met her but we already loved her as our own. She was ours. </p><p class="MsoNormal">This is a natural reaction but is it a right one?<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">At what point does the child belong to the adoptive families? If there is birth family involved when does their ownership end? Officially it would be in court, but for many adoptive families it is much earlier than that.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">What do you think? Should adoptive families view children they are matched with as “theirs”? Is it wrong to have a sense of ownership over a child with birth family or parents?</p></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-16543264175006141942012-01-17T08:12:00.000-08:002012-01-17T08:14:06.269-08:00Total Orphan? I'm Sorry, But it's Not That Simple<p class="MsoNormal">One of the reoccurring themes I hear in the conversations about orphan care are the words “total orphan”. Often a parent is defending or bragging about the ethics of their adoption by claiming that their child was a “total orphan” or potential adoptive parents are saying they are looking to adopt a “total orphan” as if that makes it all magically ethical. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">According to UNICEF a total orphan is a child who has lost both their mother and father. I know quite a few adoptions of total orphans that I find unethical. And I know quite a few adoptions of children with one or both parents alive that I believe are completely ethical. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s just not that simple. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Just because a child has lost both their parents doesn’t mean there aren’t aunts, uncles, grandparents, or cousins that wish to care for them…. Or that they cannot be adopted domestically. Consider a child who has lost both their parents to AIDS but lives with their aunt and uncle as a welcome member of the family. Through tragic circumstances the child is separated from the aunt and uncle and brought to the orphanage. The aunt searches tirelessly for her niece and months later finds the orphanage where she was brought. Sadly the orphanage has already given her up for adoption. The aunt and uncle grieve as if their own child has just died. Was that ethical? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">In another circumstance a child is severely beaten daily by her mother. Her mother refuses to feed her and screams verbal abuse at her whenever she is home. One day she pours scalding hot water on the child and the child ends up in the hospital. A missionary couple hears word and talks to neighbors and discovers the abuse. They search out the father to find he is an alcoholic who is barely taking care of himself and has no interest in his daughter. The couple are refugees and have no other extended family that could take the child. The missionary couple pursues adoption. Was that ethical? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sadly, in a country like Uganda these stories are not as uncommon as we would like to think.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Adoption ethics are complicated and unique to every situation. I’m sorry but we cannot simplify them by only pursuing the adoption of total orphans… and we cannot pass judgment on a family simply because their child has birth parents. </p>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-11992229745172830092012-01-10T17:11:00.000-08:002012-01-15T13:48:55.118-08:00We don't need no education...No wait, we really do.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwVcNIYsJpBfkmR6kf-DjSuMB-_ewog64YvASa3BionbLMBEdduNFzilvwRUx753VfR9tW3xq5cCnjtl316iCklIiqeGVuOFE3otw4x5hrMncKlswdH4K2nEm0w9XV5q1y5LWErcBqPyEl/s1600/noplacelikehome.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwVcNIYsJpBfkmR6kf-DjSuMB-_ewog64YvASa3BionbLMBEdduNFzilvwRUx753VfR9tW3xq5cCnjtl316iCklIiqeGVuOFE3otw4x5hrMncKlswdH4K2nEm0w9XV5q1y5LWErcBqPyEl/s320/noplacelikehome.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696216806873640514" /></a><div><br /><p class="MsoNormal">Unethical Social Welfare: Progression At Home While Continuing to Offer Sub-Par Level Care Overseas<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">To anyone who reads our blog, I am going to be sort of a ‘guest writer’ with this post I guess. Truth is, I really am not “In the know” when it comes to the blog world. I only read a blog post if someone sends me a link to it, and as you can tell, I don’t write too many of these myself.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">There is something I have been wrestling with A LOT over the past few months. Something <i>blog worthy</i>? Maybe. I’ll let you decide. I need to provide a little disclaimer before I begin: When we discuss the ethics of orphan care, it is just that a <i>discussion. <o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i> </i>I study Social Work at University. This semester I had an adjunct professor who just so happens to be a supervisor at DHS in Philadelphia (Department of Human Services). He liked to tell stories, maybe a little too much. But that’s okay, because I’m pretty sure all of his stories helped me realize how upsetting the gap is between our services for Children and Youth here in the U.S. and the services we offer to the developing world. <b>In this post I am going to question most directly why individuals from the developed world, individuals from countries with progressive social welfare systems- why on earth we think it is okay to move backward and continue offering solutions that have been found ineffective and actually damaging in our own countries</b>. Obviously we have moved away from institutional care in the U.S. (with a movement toward family preservation), but we insist on offering the developed world this sub-par level of care that countless studies have proven damaging not only to the child and family, but to entire communities and cultures.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In Philadelphia, families who DHS feels it necessary to separate are scheduled to be seen in court on multiple occasions. To give you an idea of what this would look like, individuals present at said hearings would most likely include: a judge, a child advocate, the child(ren), parents, other family members, a case worker, and a lawyer defending the parents. These court hearings are held to make sure all parties are doing their job. The judge wants to see evidence that there is a movement toward permanency for the child. If at all possible, it is in the form of reunification with the natural family. For a child to be released back into the care of the home they were removed from, the caregiver must take the necessary steps to make their home a safe place for that child.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Anyone at DHS would tell you that as often as they are referred to as “baby snatchers”, that is not what they are about. Not at all. The social workers, supervisors, and department heads all want to see children out of foster care and reunited with their biological family. They want to see caregivers making the necessary changes to help bring their children home. And it is in fact the case workers’ job to do everything in his or her power to make this possible. Whether it is providing transportation to NA meetings, helping the caregiver look for employment, or finding necessary mental health treatment- the caseworker serves as a broker and advocate for the caregiver. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">What I walked away from that class with this semester was DHS’ overwhelming focus on family preservation. So many of the things we are fighting for in Uganda, DHS has and continues to fight for here on the home front. Why? Because they have studied the effects of institutional care on children. They have understood that it is a child’s right to grow up with their God given family. They have realized that it is unethical to automatically write a caregiver off as unfit regardless of your gut feeling. They have understood it entirely necessary to provide a caregiver with the tools to bring their children back home. Does it always work? No way. There are many parents who don’t take advantage of the services provided to them. They do not do their part in completing the steps to make reunification possible, and in this case the caregiver’s rights would be terminated. The point is, they ARE to be given every opportunity to make it possible for their child(ren) to return home. It is up to the caregiver to choose whether or not they will take responsibility and work with the case worker and the courts to meet the requirements for regaining custody of their children. </p><p class="MsoNormal">In Uganda at-risk families aren't even presented with this choice. Just imagine how the number of children living in institutional care would decrease if instead of simply placing children in orphanages, we came alongside the parents and gave them a choice. What if we focused on empowering and helping link them up with the necessary resources to keep their children? We could prevent family separation in the first place. </p><p class="MsoNormal"> In some cases there is a definite need to remove a child from the home, however there is a major difference between the care provided when this occurs. One of the major differences between orphanages and foster care as temporary solutions- when children are placed in foster care in the U.S. a social worker is working with their parents to help them regain custody. In Uganda when a child enters an orphanage, the orphanage is not working with the caregiver to help improve their situation- thus the orphanage becomes more of a long-term solution for these families. One of the big questions I want to ask is: If we really love these kids, why aren't we loving their families too? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Why am I presenting you with all of this? Because when we measure services offered to at-risk families in the U.S. against what we fund and promote in Uganda there is a disparaging gap that should upset all of us. I don’t believe in satisfactory care. I believe in researching and educating ourselves before starting NGO’s in cultures SO vastly different from our own. I believe in offering the best care possible, whether it is in North Philadelphia or East Africa. Because if you are not doing this, you are committing a serious disservice to the population you are serving. And you just might be doing more harm than good.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i>This is only the beginning of this discussion. I tried to keep this post short and to the point, to maybe gain some insight on what others think before expanding further. I plan to address the problem of cultural discrepancy in relation to orphanages in Africa as well as expand further on why family strengthening makes sense as a foundation for addressing care for OVC in Uganda.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i>Also please read: <a href="http://www.rileysinuganda.blogspot.com/2012/01/things-they-dont-tell-you.html">The Rileys In Uganda</a>. </i></p><p class="MsoNormal">***Something VERY important I forgot to address in the original post: The focus of this post was on the use of orphanages as permanent, long-term solutions in the developing world. There are orphanages who function as a transitional or interim period for OVC. These orphanages work to resettle children with their families, work to place children in domestic families, and when necessary adopt children internationally. The point I am trying to make here is that these institutions recognize the need a child has for a family, and if at all possible work toward permanency outside of the orphanage. Over the past two years we have been very fortunate to work with and see such a good example of this. Amani Baby Cottage (www.amanibabycottage.org) has provided Megan and myself with the unique opportunity and experience in resettlement work in Uganda. I (Kelsey) also got the chance to work with international adoptions for a brief period as well. I can say with all honesty, in seeing Amani from the inside out, it is one of the most ethically run orphanages in Uganda we have ever come across. The children are well cared for, well loved, and the director/staff are actively working on executing exit strategies for each of the children in their care. Thank you for your example and all you have taught Megan and myself. We would not be where we are without you.</p><p class="MsoNormal">-Kelsey</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-85968375719196502982012-01-01T13:59:00.000-08:002012-01-01T14:02:09.383-08:00You're Gonna Miss ThisThere’s nothing like a good country song to bring you to tears while you’re speeding down 95.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">I’m Gonna Miss This</span> by Trace Adkins did that to my today. The song goes through a girl’s life, when she’s in high school just aching to be an adult, when she’s a young married wife longing for children, when she’s an exhausted mother just wanting to sleep through the night. And through each of these life stages someone gently reminds her…<div><br />“You’re Gonna Miss this, you’re Gonna want this back<br />You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast<br />These are some good times, so take a good look around<br />You may not know it now, but you’re gonna miss this”</div><div><br />Such truth. Because no matter what stage of life we are in, there are always gifts that we need to just soak in. Most days I wish I was leaving for Uganda tomorrow, but in that car with this song playing and tears rolling I realized… </div><div><br />I’m gonna miss my brother’s goofy grin</div><div><br />I’m gonna miss the way my sister leaps into your arms after a long day</div><div><br />I’m gonna miss my baby sister’s sweet baby scent</div><div><br />I’m gonna miss creating crazy weird science experiments with my cousin </div><div><br />I’m gonna miss laughing and being with friends and family</div><div><br />I’m gonna miss comfy beds where you can snuggle under layers of covers</div><div><br />I’m gonna miss fall leaves and cold snowy Christmases </div><div><br />I’m gonna miss driving along smooth roads with the radio blaring music I actually like</div><div><br />I’m gonna miss all this food </div><div><br />I’m gonna miss getting crazy lost in DC but knowing my dad is only a phone call away to help me find my way</div><div><br />I’m gonna miss this. I’m gonna want it back… and I’m definitely going to wish it hadn’t all gone by so fast. I have a year and a half to soak all this up. To fill my memories up with baby scents and goofy grins and preschool hugs and crazy science experiments. And if I spend that year and a half wishing I was somewhere else I’m going to miss out on all of it. So here’s to living in the moment. For stopping and seeing what gifts God has for you in the here and now. </div><div><br />Because you may not know it now… but you’re gonna miss this.<br /></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-87769095946376162612011-12-17T20:15:00.000-08:002011-12-17T20:18:52.601-08:00Merry Christmas!'This is no time for a child to be born,<br />With the earth betrayed by war and hate<br />And a comet slashing the sky to warn<br />That time runs out and the sun burns late.<br /><br />That was no time for a child to be born<br />In a land in the crushing gripe of Rome;<br />Honor and truth were trampled by scorn-<br />Yet here did the Savior make his home.<br /><br />When is the time for love to be born?<br />The inn is full on planet earth,<br />And by a comet the sky is torn-<br />Yet Love still takes the risk of birth."<br /><br />Madeline L'engle<br /><br />Make you feel our savior's love this Christmas season... and may it compel you to birth even more love for those around you. <br /><br />Merry Christmas!Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-34955056460386951512011-12-01T07:44:00.000-08:002011-12-01T07:47:05.231-08:00You Would Never Know<p class="MsoNormal">She jumps up and down, demanding to be picked up. You snuggle her close while the other children grab at your skirt, demanding the same attention. As the dinner bells rings you gather them up and move with them into the home. They all sit down as you pass out plates of food and water and bow your head in thanks. She looks up at you with gleaming eyes and smiles as she shovels food into her mouth and dribbles water down her front. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">And you would never know.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Never know that there was a little symbol that changed her life. That that symbol, written in her profile, brought her chances of being adopted down dramatically. That that symbol makes people avoid her. Nervously offer hugs. Push away her kisses. Freak out at the sight of her blood. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">+</p> <p class="MsoNormal">HIV +</p> <p class="MsoNormal">That’s all it takes. One symbol. And her life is changed. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">What if we didn’t tell you? What if we treated her like everyone else and you never knew the difference? You would hug her. You would kiss her. You would put Band-Aids on her scrapes. You wouldn’t fear. You would love her freely. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">And maybe… just maybe… you’d consider making her your daughter. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The thing is- you’re confused. That + sign doesn’t make her unadoptable. It doesn’t even necessarily make her sick. HIV has never been spread in a household environment. You can’t get it from hugging and kissing and putting on band aids. It’s easier to manage than diabetes.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">She’s not stuck in that orphanage because she’s HIV+. She’s stuck in that orphanage because we are misinformed. Because we don’t know.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Today is world AIDS day. Take the time to KNOW and LEARN. And maybe…just maybe… take a step to help children like her out of orphanages. Take a step to reach out to someone branded with that symbol. Take a step to speak out for the people all over the world fighting this stigma. Take a step to love them like Jesus.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> <a href="http://www.projecthopeful.org/get-involved/truth-pandemic#.TteVgTBoR9c.facebook">http://www.projecthopeful.org/get-involved/truth-pandemic#.TteVgTBoR9c.facebook</a></p>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464069862496971959.post-23059525592402380952011-11-20T18:52:00.000-08:002011-11-21T08:42:42.037-08:00Fair Trade Christmas ShoppingThat beautiful wonderful time of the year is almost here! Christmas!<div><br /></div><div>Which means it's time for Christmas shopping too. Americans spend billions of dollars each year on Christmas.</div><div><br /></div><div>Why not use that money to buy gifts AND support those in need all around the world?</div><div><br /></div><div><i>If you're in the DC or Philadelphia area you can come to one of our fundraisers on December 3rd (DC) and 4th (PA). We will be selling Uganda crafts to raise money for Abide. </i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>The DC event is 12:00-3:00 at Christ Our Shepherd Church is South East DC on December 3rd. </i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>The PA event is at 2:00-5:00 at Kelsey's house on December 4th. </i></div><div><br /></div><div>If you can't make either of those events don't worry! There are still tons of awesome organizations out there you can support this holiday season! Here are just a few. Let us know if we missed your favorite!</div><div><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.tenthousandvillages.com/">Ten Thousand Villages</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.tukula.org/">Tukula </a>(LOVE them!)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.ssekodesigns.com/">Ssekos</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://31bits.com/">31 Bits</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.krochetkids.org/">Krochet Kids</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.147millionorphans.com/">147 Million Orphans</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.punjammies.com/">Punjammies</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.worldfinds.com/">World Finds</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.forgottenshirts.com/">Forgotten Shirts</a> (the idea behind this company is genius)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.invisiblechildren.com/mend/">Mend </a>(OBSESSED with these bags. They are real pricey but beautiful and durable)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.onemangotree.com/">One Mango Tree</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://emberarts.com/">Ember Arts</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.annieoboutique.com/">Annie O Boutique </a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.acacia-designs.com/Scripts/PublicSite/">Acacia Creations </a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.peopleofhopecrafts.org/">People of Hope Crafts</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://goodandfairclothing.com/">Good and Fair Clothing</a> (um... can we just talk about the fact you can get fair trade underwear from here?!?!?!?!?!)</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.givingsquared.org/">Giving Squared</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://purecitizen.com/current-sales">Pure Citizen </a></p></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16903962574262316958noreply@blogger.com0