Saturday, May 7, 2011

God is Good

God is good- ALL the time. That phrase has been circulating in my mind since I landed in Uganda four days ago. I seem to be incapable of producing any other words or thoughts.

I stared up at the Ugandan night sky with stars peppering the darkness as my precious Esther fell asleep in my arms. I put her in my bed and spent the hours left of the night staring at her- trying to wrap my head around the reality that this beautiful, healthy, wonderfully, happy child was that four month old baby I left a year ago. I watched her suck her thumb and snuggle into the covers and tears streamed down my face as I thought, “God is good- ALL the time.”

We saw his father bringing him down the hill and when he reached us we couldn’t believe he was the same kid. He couldn’t stop smiling and he had grown into a smart little boy. Where was the solemn baby we had known before? He snuggled against his father as the father told us it was a joy to parent him. God is good- All the time.

When the van pulled in she was already running towards us laughing the entire way. When I jumped out of the van she propelled herself towards us as her friends looked on with shy smiles. She smiled and giggled when I hugged and kissed her and when I left she went to her grandmother’s arms with the same joyful spirit. God is good- All the time.

The house is full to bursting of children and I see my friends standing in the midst of the glorious chaos and I can’t help but tear up at their dream- the one we talked and prayed about a year ago- a reality before my eyes. Ten sweet children who could now point to this house and call it home and point to my friends and say ‘mama.’ God is good- All the time.

We sit in a circle talking in circles and finding no real solution. I juggle Esther on my hip as I try to wrap my head around this precious boy’s fate. He has been in three homes this year already and now we are all discussing where to send him next. This beautiful boy who captures the heart of everyone he meets except for the family who is supposed to love and care for him unconditionally. We fight for adoption, someone else wants him in their orphanage, and the auntie claims she should be given another chance. I look at him and ache for him to know love and call someone mommy. But there is only so much we can do. God is good- All the time.

God’s goodness is not dependent on our situation but when our situation is good is when we are reminded of his goodness. I am reminded of God’s goodness when I hold my baby girl and when I see children home and happy. When I look into the eyes of a little boy I cannot help and when I see poverty all around me I force myself to look up into the sky and declare that our God is good- ALL the time.

God was just as good when I sobbed into Esther’s shoulder begging God to keep me from having to say goodbye as he is now as I watch her smile and laugh in my arms.

God was just as good when I sat behind my computer screen in America wishing I could see those kids with my own eyes as he is now when they jump into my arms and throw their heads back in laughter.

God was good yesterday- when it was night, and he is good today-when the morning gleams. God is good. All the time God is good.

1 comment:

  1. So glad you arrived safe and sound. God is good all the time!!