Monday, May 23, 2011

Jehovah is Lord

After our first night with baby Joel where we monitored him and kept him on oxygen I expected to return him to his mom and come back in a few month to visit a happy healthy baby. The next day however we found Joel with jaundice and when we approached a nurse to ask about the mother the nurse ignored us and instead answered her cell phone and walked away to have a private conversation. After the previous night where they refused to put a barely breathing Joel on oxygen because they didn’t have a cannula and then got mad at us when we said we were leaving we were done with this particular hospital and took Joel to a clinic in town. The clinic told us jaundice was normal and to bring him back the next day. When we took him back the next day they tested his blood levels and told us he needed a blood transfusion but that they weren’t legally allowed to do it. So we took Joel to hospital number three where they tested his blood type (B+) but told us they didn’t have any blood. So we went to hospital number four where they had blood but no one there to test the blood for compatibility. So we went to hospital number five where they only had a small amount of blood and much sicker babies who needed it more. So we went to hospital number six. If this hospital didn’t have his blood we were going to have to leave for Kampala and start going to hospitals there. We had been searching for blood for Joel for six hours now and were so upset. Over and over again we had prayed as we entered each new hospital and over and over again I expected God to show up and he hadn’t. I was so frustrated and angry. How could the God that kept this baby going when he fought for life his first hours on earth not show up for us now? I sat in the car so sleep deprived and with not an ounce of patience left in my body and I screamed out to God, “where are you???” And I felt Jesus in that car looking me in the eye and saying, “I’m right here.” God never promises that everything will turn out how we want. He never promises that all our selfish requests will be granted. But he does promise to always be present with us and in that car I knew that whatever happened God would be there by my side and whether he granted my desperate requests or not Joel’s name (Jehovah is Lord) will never cease to be true.

And so I was struggling to hold on to those promises as we ran into our sixth hospital and desperately asked a nurse whether they had blood. She said she wasn’t sure but she found someone to bring us to the fridge where they stored it. We walked in and he opened the fridge. Sitting at the bottom was ONE bag of blood and as we leaned in we saw written on the bag B+ (Joel’s blood type). We screamed. We laughed. We cried. We praised our God.

It was a miracle and it showed me once again that God is listening and ever present in our lives.

But it didn’t mean Joel was out of the woods. Today we met a British doctor who agreed to come to the hospital with us and examine Joel. She said he was severely jaundice and fighting a pretty bad infection. Thankfully the doctor is doing everything she recommended but hearing more negative news about our precious Joel is wearing me down. God brought him through his first night of breathing- He provided the blood he needed- why can’t he be a healthy baby boy already? I just want so badly to go visit Joel and for once hear good news.

But God is continuing to whisper, “I am right here and I’m not leaving.”

He doesn’t promise me that Joel will be okay. He doesn’t promise that the next few days will be easy. But he does promise to never leave me nor forsake me.

And no matter what happens Jehovah will always be Lord.

Please keep Joel in your prayers.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. The way you wrote this so poignantly revealed all that happened. That's amazing. I will continue to pray for baby Joel. -Barbara

    Psalm 20.

    "May the Lord grant all your requests....Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."