Monday, August 9, 2010

Surpassing Joy

One of the most nauseating things I was told before I came here was “you are such a good person to help orphans in Africa!” and “you’re sacrificing so much you poor thing”. Those people just don’t get it. You think I’m an amazing person and that I’m sacrificing so much?

You didn’t get to see T today smiling and crawling around on the floor and know that three weeks ago he was lying in my arms lifeless all skin and bones.

You didn’t get to feed baby G her bottle and plant kisses on her head knowing that just a mere 6 hours ago she was lying in a field in the rain abandoned.

You won’t get to see two sets of parents come running through our gates in three short weeks and take their new children into their arms.I’m not amazing.

I’m not sacrificing so much. I am doing what everyone else is doing in this world. I’m finding what gives me the most joy and pursuing it. Nothing has ever given me as much joy as caring for the orphaned children of Uganda. So that’s what I’m going to do.

I don’t think God always provides you with a miraculous sign to show you what you should do with your life. Sometimes I think it is as simple as being somewhere doing something and feeling a peace and joy so profound that you know they couldn’t come from anywhere but God. I have found that here. When I think about a future here all the world fades away. When I think about never having a proper shower, air conditioning, krispy kreme, the possibility of never marrying, only seeing my family and friends once a year I grow sad. But then I see one of my babies laugh or say their first word or come running to me to give me a hug and that joy surpasses all.

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